but im stuck in this fucking rut, waiting on a secondhand pick me up

i learn more and more everyday
it sucks how i only learn from being hurt
cause when youre happy
youre too caught up and dazed 
and confused, and just high on life
or drugs
shitty
but its only made me stronger

i wonder if you'll ever open your eyes?
it's such a shame
we've all become such scattered, fragile beings
just come to your senses
and just get me

do i have to fall asleep with roses in my hand?

chase chase chase
you're after the wrong thing, boy
blinded by lust
fucker

it's really perplexing
nobody ever really knows how bad someone else is hurting
we could stand next to someone who is completely broken
and not even know it

we all live alone
we all stand alone

i'm holding on

it's these few long hours that make me what i am

....backspace.
again and again and again
this happens everytime i come on here
what am i even trying to live up to?
probably my past.

i'm not quite sure of who i've become
or what i've become?
i keep losing myself
and finding myself in different places,
states of mind, insane amounts of joy and sorrow,
and i can't seem to get it all back together in one piece
i'm in a million little pieces
scattered
and strung together so delicately

but i always forget
we all lose ourselves
we are all broken
and we are all completely made of flaws
some consider this a bad thing
but to me, it makes life a little more thrilling


no matter how much i might deny it,
i like being imperfect
i like the freckle dead on inbetween my eyes,
and my awkward-ness, if thats a word?
i like the scar on my face that people mistake for a dimple
and i obviously like this song,
cause i think i'm on play number thirteen

i've realized that bad moods and regret
are just a solid waste of my time,
nothing ever turns out as planned,
and although change happens,
in people and everything imaginable,
some feelings stay the same.
but what i've realized the most,
is that alot of people are just heartless, mindless,
and lack passion, life,
and the things that i love most.

they're missing out.
i need to find more people that think the way i do.

shoulda woulda coulda

enough of this,

honestly

please

i'm realizing that regret's a waste of time

i'm done with shit holding me down

i'm ready to break free of my thoughts, insecurities,

and 'what if's'

fuck that

cause in all reality, life is fucking great

every single persons got a chance

and a story to write

and room to dance

so why sit around and mope

wah wah wah, who the fuck cares

almost nineteen and i've got so much ahead of me

so young and restless and careless

so screw all the feelings that hold you back

forget about who said what and just do you

why can't anyone else see this clearly

god dammit

i'll find that boy someday, someday

he'll love my foul mouth and style

hope he finds me

not too soon though

anyways,

i'd much rather be absolutely rediculous

than absolutely boring

haters gonna hate

life's a fuckin party,

and i'm learning to love every song