You know those surreal moments?

i dont know if its just me, if i'm crazy, or if i just live in my own world
but its moments like today that i appreciate the most
where i step back and realize the simplicity of life
and the beauty of death
everythings so easy once you get on a new level
everything looks perfect from far away

i couldn't look at the pictures of you
or plaster on a fake smile and shake strangers hands, no no
no i am not okay, i had to walk away
i found a small empty room down the hall
full of windows, pretty natural lighting
and i just, sat there
thinking, reminiscing, crying, questioning, clenching, loving
hating, regretting, and loving again

i should have visited you more, im sorry
last time i saw you i rubbed your bald head, kissed your cheek
and whispered i love you
i cant complain about that being my final memory of you
i dont know how many times i heard today
"he loved you so much, you were his favorite"
he was my favorite, too.

but all i have left of you are a few worn out photos,
and i can hear your voice inside my head
i hope it never leaves..
i already miss you
i miss you is not enough

i'll meet you at the pearly gates
all of my love;